January 4, 1999 - Newsletter #9

By Joe Burns

G O O D I E S T O G O ! (tm)
January 4, 1999 - Newsletter #9

Please visit http://www.htmlgoodies.com.

Greetings, Weekend Silicon Warriors


So much has happened in this year alone! Let's take a look at what could be ahead, say, at the end of the year 2004

Naolscape versions 22.1 through 23.6 came out with a bang. Each version gave us a bigger and better browser. The ability to alter another user's screen tint control has really revolutionized the Web. Bluer blues! Pinker pinks! Wow! What's even more amazing is that the browser is coming in at just under a megabyte. That's only nine hours of download time over a 128K modem.

President-elect Gates is still fighting for full control of the browser market. His new voice-recognition surfing was a big hit. There was one minor drawback: the system didn't distinguish between human and animal voices. Yahoo is reporting that the keyword most searched by family pets that get too close to the system was "woof". It did produce 122 hits, though

We can finally say sayonara to the Y2K bug. After a rash of stopping elevators and fast-food restaurant cash registers figuring incorrect change, we can rest easy. Windows 06 will be out soon. This 512-bit operating system is fully fool- proof and guarantees no concerns for the year 3000. Remember, there is no Internet Explorer version 406.22 attached; however, the $2.00 anti-trust tax will still be included.

After going through a few updates, the Apple Q-MAC is selling well. The original I-MAC, released in 1998, was fully self- contained. Later versions were even more contained and now the people at Apple simply schedule you for surgery and implant the G54 chip right into your brain. Your nose acts as the trash can.

The one-billionth domain name was awarded this past year: http://www.zippitydoodah.com was awarded to Jimmy Jones of Cleveland, Ohio. He intends to use the site as a tribute to 2004's number one selling band, Hanson. Suit has been brought by Disney.

Animal activists were outraged when computer companies began attaching real mice to computers in an effort to boost sagging sales. Representatives for the computer industry refused to stop stating that too much money had already been spent genetically engineering an animal with a nine-pin serial tail.

HTML assistant programs became far more advanced in 2004. The PageMaker editor was the first to implement HTML 10.2 into their system, and once again the voice-recognition plug-in was a hit. There are still a few bugs, though. At the last computer conference, representatives accidentally sneezed during their presentation and the software package created the site "blessyou.com".

The low point of 2004 had to be "The Day the System Died". On February 3 the entire telephone system was shut down for a day after 10-10-321 bought AT&T. Many young people were panic-stricken upon walking out of their houses and seeing "a strange fiery ball in the sky." It was later determined to be the sun. During that same month, the biggest shareware download was the Rising Sun screen saver.

Thanks for a great 2004. The Dick Clark animatron will be in Times Square once again this year counting down to January 1st. It should be a good time. The event will be broadcast live over the Internet. If you still own one, you can catch it on television, too.

Happy New Year, and remember that 2005 is a registered trademark of Microsoft Corporation.


And that's that -

I hope you're enjoying these newsletters. I'm trying not to stay technical all the time! This should be something you look forward to reading because it's fun. Any suggestions? I'm just an email away.

Joe Burns, Ph.D.

And Remember: According to Clement Wood's Rhyming Dictionary, the only word in the English language that does not have a true rhyme is "silver". But what about "purple" and "orange" you ask? Believe it or not, "purple" is said to rhyme with "chirp'll," a word used in poetry, and "orange" is said to rhyme with "door hinge". I want to know what rhymes with "purpose".

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